Tuesday.

Nearly ten in the morning.

Took the kids to McDonald's, took Cassidy to school, took Flynn to school. Went to the market. Bought drinking water, fish water, little bottles of water for the kids. Bought milk. Napkins. Cream and light corn syrup to try making fudge again. Bought regular white bread. Bought hot dogs. Bought sweetener for coffee. Bought a different brand of little apple juice boxes.

Feel stunned and sad. Big time. Last night I napped on the couch instead of watching the football game. Same on Sunday, mostly I just napped. Can't get enough sleep.

Finished playing "Return to Castle Wolfenstein" which I'd had since August. Playing "Blasto" again. Just want to be distracted.

Sooner or later I'll need to tell the kids that Grandma Peggy is dead. Is "no longer with us." That we won't see Grandma Peggy again. Very sad. Very, very sad.

Everything seems empty. Profoundly empty.

More rain on Tuesday morning

Kind of a surprise. Just sitting here. Played a video game for a few minutes. The house is clean enough. I may clean the floors later.

After Diane was over yesterday afternoon I sat on the couch and fell asleep hard. Weird. Woke up at 6:30. The Rams were ahead 10-0 but the Colts came back and won by a 25-point margin.

Depressed, angry, sad... worried. Have to tell the kids that Grandma Peggy died. That we won't see her any more. Just stabs or waves of sadness.

Oh, God. I feel sad. I feel so sad.

I feel sad and lonely. Dropped the kids off. Mailed Sydney's birthday card. Now I'm at home.

Another Monday

Rain yesterday, thank God. Fire in the fireplace for the first time in months.

Get up, get clean, shave, dress, get the kids up and ready to go. Put the trash out for collection.

Need to organize bills and money this morning once the kids are at school. Ten after seven now.

So now I'm on my own.

Diane is stopping by at 2 to see Cassidy, she's unsure if she can stay late enough to see Flynn.

Toni called last night for a bit. It was good to talk to someone.

Need to mail Sydney a birthday card.

Bought that on Friday.

Mom Died.

Bob called and told me. Kelly and I had a feeling something was not right.

Hasn't quite hit home yet.

Making fudge. Keeping distracted. How do I tell Flynn and Cassidy?