Visiting Mom in the desert with my delightful little son and my unfortunate choice of a second wife. I really know how to pick 'em, don't I?
Took Flynn to one of little friend's birthday party yesterday from noon to three, hot day out, he skipped his nap, fairly exhausting. Then we drove out here. The best way to deal with living with Diane is to just ignore her. She says stupid things and drives like shit, just close my eyes except when we're actually about to have an accident. "Whoa Pook. Whoa Pook. Whoa Pook. Please do not kill us."
I mean, can't you SEE that car merging into this lane, getting on the freeway? Maybe driving 75 in the slow lane is not a good idea? What do *you* think, Honey? I think you're not all there, there is something missing from your makeup, there is a chunk missing and you don't even know it.
Flynn is now three. I was planning on staying for 18 months. Three years is 36 months. I'm good and sick of Diane in every way by this time. Smoking, the dog, stupidity, lack of some elemental block of character...
Unhappy with Diane. As evidenced by my IMMENSE size, I've never been fatter than this. I eat and drink to block out Diane. I just want to blot it all out. Go ahead, say the stupidest things you can, I'm going to drink four beers and retire to my little room and ignore you, dream of other days and basically NOT BE HERE WITH YOU.
I'd really like to establish and maintain at least a diary of who does what with Flynn and account for hours and activities, I think that would be a real eye-opener in six months.
My family seems to like Diane just fine. THEY CAN HAVE HER. I'll take Flynn.
Flynn has been really uppity since my return from Baja and his Hawaii trip.
Would also like to get a small video camera to record just how things Diane says lead to conflict. I don't see or expect how demonstrating or even charting out how the things she says and does lead to conflict, by this time I do not believe that Diane is all there.
What else? Not much. Work continues. Yawn. The house is ok, I guess. Moved the bricks I'd bought back to where I'm going to position them, bought two more 50 lb. bags of sand on Friday after going to the market after picking up the VW parts after picking up the new clothes.
Wore the new clothes yesterday, looked nice, it was hot out, though. I may be nicely dressed, but I'm still really fat.
Wearing contact lenses, finally ran across those yesterday. Kind of a change.
What else? Have to replace the points and condensor on the Campmobile, try and set the timing and all that. Running very poorly. Also some white smoke from the port scoop. Oil on the engine? Valve is shot? I do not own a compression tester, I'm unsure what the condition of the engine is.
Was thinking of a BMW 2002, that would be fun. No money, of course.
What else? Not much else.
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2010: Messages from the past like this remind me of what my married life was like, and it was not pleasant. Diane ended up having some kind of mental breakdown or whatever you'd call it. Which has been going on and on and on for five years, now. At least she never participated in our family life, which was good as far as carrying on without was concerned for the kids, who have never once said "I miss mom" or anything of the sort. Go figure. But, God, I remember those horrible days of being with her and being so unhappy and so dissatisfied -- it was really miserable. I mean, it was really bad. I wish that I could say that I missed her even a little bit, but that simply is not the case at all. As far from that as you can get.
