Built a fire. Playing part of 770519. Cassidy's in the tub. Flynn already took a shower.
Feel down. Not a quiet day. Fell asleep for a few minutes watching an episode of "Good Eats" that I wanted to see.
Another Monday tomorrow. Much like the previous Monday and the Monday before that.
Too bad I couldn't cultivate the remaining lawn area this weekend. Rain was off-and-on. I ought to be able to get it ready to seed by next weekend. Finish digging in the chicken manure. Figure out what kind of seed to buy. Buy enough cover material to cover the seed. Keep it damp. I'd like to have a lawn again.
Drank a "Rock Star Energy Drink" today for the first time since I fell asleep waiting to get Cassidy. Fell asleep this afternoon. Doesn't give me any energy, but I take enjoyable, deep naps. Or pass out, one of the two. Maybe a combination.
Not pleased to see Diane take the kids yesterday. Just another bizarre, unpleasant wrinkle in my life. Here I am raising the kids on my own? This is not what I planned. This is not what I anticipated. But it needs to be done and I don't see anyone else around who can do it.
Sometimes you lose that optimistic edge and things wash over the bow. The past few weeks I've been hitting the snooze alarm and not getting right out of bed. Not a good sign. It's still that dead period between football and baseball. Get up, manage the kids, clean the house, pick the kids up, feed the kids... manage the kids... get the kids clean and back in bed. Cassidy lives off of chocolate milk and Eggo waffles. While six-year-old-sized portions of fish and vegetables and chicken in various permutations parade by her. It's FISH, try it, you'll like it. I made some "chicken nuggets" out of chicken breast dredged in crumbs of some kind... potato chips or Ritz crackers... she turned her nose up at those, too... arrrgh...
What is there to look forward to? Anything meaningful? Flynn begins junior high school, Cassidy begins first grade. I feel too old for this. The run-in with the principal and my angry note about that asshole kid cutting in front of Cassidy still mightily piss me off. Digging up the lawn area helped distract me. Too bad I couldn't dig up more of the lawn area this weekend, as I've mentioned fifteen or twenty times.
Nearly seven. Fish Cassidy out of the tub. Chase the little mutants into bed in an hour and a half or so and then start it all over again tomorrow morning. Dig up more of the lawn area. Not a party in and of itself. Do it right this time. Wasn't satisfied with Diane's recipe for the lawn area when we (I) laid the sod back in 97 or whenever it was. And her stupid sprinkler system. Gah. Don't remind me.
Go prepare coffee. Get up and shave and dress and make coffee and sit back down here and hope there's something even half-interesting to read.
Get the kids up and dressed and fed and out the door. Drive back here and see how wet the soil in the lawn area is.
Getting the lawn cultivated and started certainly seems important to me. Against some happy future day, walking barefoot on the future lawn. Something on the barbecue... an ice-cold Tecate in my hand... my headphones on, listening to Garrison Keilor on a Saturday evening... hopefully the morning glories and moonflowers will have grown from 2" seedlings to 6' vines by that time... somewhere much closer to the heart of summer than I am now...
Trips to the beach... summer vacation for the kids... the trip to Disneyland... Memorial Day weekend (make fried chicken and potato salad, watch science fiction movies)... 4th of July... Flynn's birthday, Cassidy's birthday... the start of football season, the start of school... Halloween... Thanksgiving... Christmas again... the usual circle. The usual rotation. Today is the first day of spring. And this year I actually got my tomatoes started from seed along with a decent herb garden... very tiny herbs at this point... though I noticed the cilantro has its first true leaves out. The thinnings smelled like cilantro. The bed of salad greens is about 4" tall now. Things are growing. I was happy to be on schedule this year for once.
Time to get Cassidy out of the tub.
